Pop star Chappell Roan has cancelled her appearance at All Things Go in an emotional statement.

On 27 September, a day before her first performance at the music festival, the singer-songwriter took to her Instagram Story to share the news.

“I apologise to the people who have been waiting to see me in NYC & DC this weekend at All Things Go, but I am unable to perform,” she wrote in a now-deleted story.

“Things have gotten overwhelming over the past few weeks and I am really feeling it. I feel pressures to prioritise a lot of things right now and I need a few days to prioritise my health.

“I want to be present when I perform and give the best shows possible. Thank you for understanding. Be back soon xox.”

All Things Go also addressed the situation with a supportive statement on Instagram.

“We’re heartbroken to announce that Chappell Roan will no longer be performing at this year’s festival,” they wrote.

“All Things Go strongly supports artists prioritising their well-being, and we ask our community to rally around Chappell Roan with love and understanding. Let’s continue to show the world that music fans support not just art, but the artist themselves.”

We support you Chappell Roan pic.twitter.com/LmNgwY2MlP

— All Things Go (@AllThingsGo) September 27, 2024

Since the release of her pop anthem ‘Good Luck, Babe!’, Chappell has catapulted to mainstream superstardom.

The openly queer talent’s 2023 debut album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, subsequently began to climb the worldwide charts; it recently hit number one in the UK, Ireland and New Zealand, and currently sits in the number two spot on the Billboard 200.

While Chappell’s star has deservedly reached new heights, transitioning from an emerging singer-songwriter to a full-fledged pop icon has not been easy.

In recent months, she has remained an open book about her rising popularity and the downfalls that have come with it, including the lack of privacy.

“People have started to be freaks –– like, [they] follow me and know where my parents live, and where my sister works. All this weird shit,“ she revealed on Drew Afuaolo’s on The Comment Section podcast.

“I’m just kind of in this battle. I’ve pumped the brakes on, honestly, anything to make me more known. It’s kind of a forest fire right now. I’m not trying to go do a bunch of s**t.”

Chappell gave further insight into her relationship with fame a month later when she called out some of her fans for their stalking behaviour.

YouTube

“I need you to answer questions,“ she said in one of two TikTok videos. “If you saw a random woman on the street, would you yell at her from your car window? Would you harass her in public? Would you go up to a random lady and say, ‘Can I get a photo with you?'”

In the second video, the young talent continued to explain that she doesn’t care that abuse and harassment and stalking“ is normalised for people in the spotlight, and that “this crazy type of behaviour comes along with the job or the career field I’ve chosen”.

Lastly, in a recent interview with The Guardian, Chappell revealed that she had been diagnosed with severe depression, which she attributed to her meteoric rise.

“If I want to go thrifting, I have to book security and prepare myself that this is not going to be normal. Going to the park, pilates, yoga – how do I do this in a safe way where I’m not going to be stalked or harassed,“ she told the news outlet.

The post “Things have gotten overwhelming”: Chappell Roan cancels All Things Go performances appeared first on GAY TIMES.

From the self-esteem scars of school bullies to body type filters on hookup apps, there are plenty of contributors to this mental health crisis. But how do we solve it?

WORDS BY RYAN CAHILL
ARTWORK BY YOSEF PHELAN

TW: eating disorders. Please be advised that the following content may be triggering for individuals who have or are currently struggling with eating disorders. This warning is intended to acknowledge that disordered eating behaviours, body image distress, calorie counting, control over food consumption, weight loss, purging, and other aspects linked to eating disorders will be discussed. If you are currently in recovery, sensitive to these topics, or feel that this content may negatively impact your mental well-being, we encourage you to avoid reading further. It is crucial to prioritise your mental health and seek support from professionals or trusted individuals if needed. 

The emphasis on body image has always played a big role in the queer community, and especially amongst gay and bisexual men. In fictional media, advertisements and porn, particular body types have been championed above others. Even this very magazine has, in the past, played a part in perpetuating the idea that certain body types are more desirable than others with a string of covers featuring scantily clad, oiled and toned men throughout the 2000s and 2010s.

These cultural archetypes have real-life consequences and studies have found that there’s a prevalence of eating disorders and compulsive gym use amongst gay and bisexual men. In a research article from 2022, German academics found that gay men exhibited greater body image issues than their straight counterparts, in particular, “a greater discrepancy between self-rated current and ideal body fat” and “higher drive for thinness”.

“A lot of the bullying I received was based on the way that I looked”

The underlying causes of eating disorders are varied and complex – but, for some, the roots are laid early. James has lived with anorexia and bulimia since he was at school, believing that the condition was triggered when he experienced bullying and struggled to make friends. “A lot of the bullying I received was based on the way that I looked – I had grown before everyone else and was very tall and thin with glasses and long hair. I didn’t fit in, in many ways I stood out,” he explains. “I internalised really strongly that the way we look matters and that it was bad to stand out or be different. I tried to change my appearance to fit in more, but became very fixated on my body image, weight and shape. I started to use food to almost shut down my body so that I didn’t have to register the difficult feelings I had, and to try and disappear.”

James feels that the desire to fit in and to be desirable to others is hard-wired into us all on an evolutionary level, and feels that this has a part to play in why the prevalence of eating disorders is so high amongst gay and bisexual men. “I learnt from my own experience that social survival is as important as physical survival, and when society holds up ideals about how we should behave and what we should look like, these are hard to resist following, even if they are unrealistic,” James adds.

“As someone who has had to work really hard in my recovery on rejecting the idea of the ‘perfect body’, I have found it difficult when I have experienced how parts of the queer community freely judge the bodies of others and can be very image-focussed. The sad truth in my experience is that the way others respond to you is still too often based on the way you look, especially when it comes to dating and hook-up culture.”

While dating apps and porn are reflections, rather than the cause, of society’s body standards, they can be spaces where ongoing biases are confirmed rather than deconstructed. Some dating apps used within the queer community still offer the option for filtering prospective hookups by body types such as stocky”, “slim”, “muscular” and “large” – allowing users to disregard large swathes of the community with a single click.

Similarly, while tube sites and platformers like JustForFans and OnlyFans host content by a broad range of performers, many of the most popular videos and creators are those featuring a specific physique: thin, toned, and with muscles cultivated through long sessions at the gym. The fact that these types of porn actors are the most popular – while diverse body types are seen as a niche, or a fetish – only reinforces the idea that certain physiques are more valued than others.

“Bulimia allowed me to feel acceptance when people would comment on my weight loss”

Like James, Sunni’s first experience with an eating disorder was at school. After being in recovery from bulimia for 20 years, the condition returned in 2022 and he’s since been working on his recovery. For him, part of what sustained his eating disorder was the positive reinforcement that peers would provide. “[Bulimia] allowed me to feel acceptance when people would comment on my weight loss,” he says. Sunni also battles severe BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), and feels like a preoccupation with physical attractiveness in the queer community has exacerbated this. “You don’t have to go far, be it on apps, social media or a gay space to find men flaunting their body and getting attention,” he says. “This feeds the notion that body image is directly correlated with attractiveness, acceptance and attention – especially in a world where you can feel incredibly lonely.”

But beyond body standards and dating apps, is there any further psychological basis for the prevalence of eating disorders among queer communities? Registered psychologist Dr Glenn Mason, whose specialisms include LGBTQIA+ mental health, argues that there are multiple factors at play. “It’s imperative to remember that eating difficulties can affect anyone no matter what their gender or sexual identity is,” he says. “However research does suggest it is higher within LGBTQ+ communities than heterosexual and cisgender populations. This can be due to many reasons such as increased levels of stress, discrimination, violence, bullying and social isolation.”

Despite the awareness within the LGBTQIA+ community that eating disorders are common, most media broaching the subject features cis, straight women – creating a ‘type’ that queer men don’t always conform to, arguably making it harder for them to reach out. But when they do make the first step, the results can be disappointing due to a lack of culturally-competent mental health treatment or service providers. “We know from research that there are many barriers LGBTQ+ people can experience when trying to access services,” Mason says.“More research needs to be conducted with specific gender and sexual identities so we can better understand how best to support those within the community experiencing eating difficulties.”

“The biggest barriers to getting help were the fact that I saw nobody like me who had similar experiences”

While change is urgently needed from mainstream mental health practitioners, we can slowly challenge stereotypes about eating disorders and who is affected all on our own. This is the approach James is taking, after noting that the people he spoke to about his struggles in school lacked both the knowledge and understanding to effectively help him. Now, in addition to continuing work on his recovery, he’s committed to spreading awareness in order to help others.

“When I started to struggle, the biggest barriers to getting help were the fact that I saw nobody like me who had similar experiences,” he says. “Being confident to talk about food, eating and body image in a compassionate way will help those who think they are struggling to open up without fear of judgement or shame. That could be the start of a journey towards getting help and recovery, which is something that everyone deserves.”

 

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Formal support for those grappling with eating disorders includes services such as the eating disorder charity Beat, as well as the mental health charity Mind – both of whom provide additional information and regular helplines for anyone who is struggling. However, some individuals may prefer a service which is tailored to the queer experience, which is where charities like health and wellbeing organisation LGBT HERO come in. Like James, LGBT HERO’s CEO Ian Howley is keen to encourage change through education and open discourse. “We need to be better about opening up and talking about how life affects our communities, how it affects you, me and all of us and maybe by having those conversations we can challenge some the stigmas surrounding eating disorders,” he says.

For those who might recognise themselves or someone they know within this story, Howley encourages individuals to break the silence: “If someone is living with an eating disorder, it’s important that you recognise it for what it is, do not feel any shame about it, and know that you are not alone,” he says. “Whether it’s talking to a trusted friend, family member, colleague or random person on the internet, it could be your first step to taking control.”

If you suspect that you are struggling with your mental health, you should book an appointment with your GP to discuss potential treatment plans and support. For shorter-term treatment plans, eating disorder charity Beat offers a free, confidential helpline 365 days a year for anyone looking to explore feelings related to an eating disorder (you don’t need a formal diagnosis). They also offer a one-to-one webchat and a “helpfinder” tool on their website that allows you to search for support services in your catchment area.

This interview is taken from the January 2024 issue of GAY TIMES. Head to Apple News + for more exclusive features and interviews from the issue. 

The post It’s time to break the silence around eating disorders in the gay community appeared first on GAY TIMES.

LGBTQIA+ people are significantly more likely to report poor mental health during higher education. Here, former and current students speak out.

WORDS BY JAMIE WINDUST
HEADER BY YOSEF PHELAN

TW: This article contains discussions of mental health and mention of suicide which some readers may find distressing.

When you’re a teenager, you spend your life dreaming about life outside of the confines of polyester shirts and claustrophobic classrooms. When the merry-go-round of standardised exams finally stops, for some, the next logical step is to take a loan from the government to spend three years slouched in a brutalist library with ick-inducing fluorescent lighting. Yes, we’re talking about university.

And while higher education – whether it’s university, art college, drama school or whatever else you wind up applying for – is often hyped up in TV and film as some of the best years of your life, the reality can be far from it. In today’s climate, there’s, quite obviously, an issue of finance. Unless you’re lucky enough to receive monetary support from family, your student loan doesn’t go far, especially when you factor in rising rental and living costs. Then, there’s the innate academic pressure of further study, the difficulties of moving away from home for the first time, and the anxieties of an uncertain job market post-graduation.

A grave picture for queer students’ mental health

Understandably, these various factors can take a toll on students’ mental health. According to research, 16% of undergraduate students report struggling with their mental health – and LGBTQIA+ students are even more severely affected. The same statistics show that gay men and bisexual people are respectively twice and four times as likely to report poor mental health than their straight counterparts.

Recent spikes in mental health struggles at university can likely be attributed to the squeeze of the cost of living crisis and the ongoing impact of the pandemic. However, even before the pandemic, universities were increasingly accused of offering insufficient safeguarding measures.

In 2023, this came to a head after allegations arose accusing universities of “hiding suicide attempts”, which were made public during a debate in Parliament. The debate itself was triggered by a petition launched by bereaved parents of students and was signed by 128,000 people.

Current and former students speak out

Universities across the UK are making efforts to support students with their mental health, whether it’s offering adjustments to deadlines and exams or providing access to services like free counselling. However, when speaking to graduates and current students, it seems like more could be done to tailor these provisions to the LGBTQIA+ experience.

Highly in-demand student counselling services may not be culturally informed – leaving LGBTQIA+ individuals feeling like their experiences aren’t being fully understood or accounted for. “Counselling was sporadic and not targeted to me as an individual,” Caitlin, a queer woman who graduated in 2020, explains. “There was no consideration of our identity when assigning help – it was very much whatever person was free.”

Requesting academic extensions and adjustments on mental health grounds can also feel more strenuous for some LGBTQIA+ people, particularly when disclosing details of their private life. “Being queer and having to bare yourself fully to strangers [made me] anxious – you never know how someone might react,” says Ry, who graduated in 2019.

https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/originals/mental-health-resources-for-lgbtq-people/

For some students, a lack of understanding about their identity on campus can make reaching out for help even more daunting. “Being non-binary didn’t entirely prevent me from reaching out but it was a huge obstacle and fear of mine,” says Josh*, a non-binary person who graduated from drama school in 2022. “I was concerned about word spreading, preconceptions affecting opportunities I would be given in my training, and not wanting to be seen as ‘trouble’,” they explain.

However, things do appear to be gradually improving at an institutional level. Current PhD student Sam has noticed a positive shift during his time in higher education. “I’ve been a student for six years now and there have definitely been some shifts in inclusivity and the accessibility of LGBTQIA+ resources, as well as general mental health awareness,” he says.

So what are universities doing to help support LGBTQIA+ mental health?

One way to improve mental health support, for all students, is obvious: more funding. Luckily, that’s on its way.

In June 2023, The Office for Students (OfS) announced £3.6 million worth of funding for Student Space – a platform offering one-to-one text and web chat support services for students who are struggling.

However, they seem hesitant to reveal details on any queer-specific mental health measures. “The OfS is not prescriptive about what individual universities and colleges should be offering in terms of mental health support,” they tell GAY TIMES. “We do encourage all universities and colleges to explore barriers and challenges faced by groups of students who may be more at risk of poor mental health and consider risks to equality of opportunity, which may affect LGBTQ+ students.”

Despite these generalisations, they reiterated their commitment, since 2021, to fund mental health projects tailored towards students with “characteristics identified as increasing the risk of poor mental health”.

A silver lining is also a proposed aim by the Department for Education to ensure that all universities across the UK join the University Mental Health Charter by September 2024 – a programme they say will help make “cultural change so that all aspects of university life promote and support mental health.”

Could on-campus LGBTQIA+ safer spaces be the answer?

But what’s being done to ensure that LGBTQIA+ students don’t fall through the cracks?

Well, some universities are taking it upon themselves to create safer spaces for LGBTQIA+ students – starting with student accommodation. With institutions such as the University of Sheffield, the University of Bath and Solent University having LGBTQIA+ specific student accommodation, it seems like change really does begin at home.

Externally, groups such as National Student Pride continue to grow and are now considered the UK’s biggest LGBTQIA+ student event. Alongside the parties and talks you might expect as part of a Pride celebration, they also offer an LGBTQIA+ career fair where soon-to-be graduates can imagine a life beyond academia via representatives from queer-friendly employers across the UK.

And for queer students looking for further support with their mental health, charities such as Student Minds offer LGBTQIA+ resources which provide advice about coming out, discrimination and exclusion, as well as details of where to get more support.

If you suspect that you are struggling with your mental health, you should book an appointment with your GP to discuss potential treatment plans and support. Anyone looking for short-term mental health support or to explore available information can contact the Mind infoline on 0300 123 3393.

The post Are queer students getting enough support at university? appeared first on GAY TIMES.

Here’s how we can bridge the gap between the LGBTQIA+ community and the mental health care they deserve.

WORDS BY DOMINIC CADOGAN
ARTWORK BY ANISA CLEAVER

Growing up LGBTQIA+ is like navigating a minefield, it’s a tumultuous time that differs from one individual to another. It is however, united by an unfortunate truth, that whatever your individual experience is, research suggests that by the end of it you’re at higher risk of mental health issues including but not limited to: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and PTSD.

Yet, despite the overwhelming amount of data exploring how and why LGBTQIA+ people are at higher risk of poor mental health, amenities to combat this aren’t as readily available. Something as simple as how to find queer therapist can quickly become an overwhelming task, with little resources available via the NHS.

The lack of consideration for the community’s various specific needs can further deter them from pursuing treatment – with opportunities for misgendering over the phone or at the reception desk before you’ve even made it to a healthcare advisor. Other obstacles cis-heterosexual counterparts needn’t be concerned about, such as accessing mental health treatment at home, may not be an option for LGBTQIA+ people due to the close proximity of family members or housemates who they may not be out to.

“Different domains of oppression impact our experiences of mental health services and treatment.”

After historically being vilified and mistreated within the healthcare space, there’s undoubtedly still a sour taste of distrust in the mouths of LGBTQIA+ people. Due to this disparity, they’re either hindered from receiving the treatment they need because of prejudices or simple lack of knowledge, or discouraged from seeking healthcare altogether.

“Different domains of oppression impact our experiences of mental health services and treatment,” outlines author Micha Frazer-Carroll in Mad World: The Politics of Mental Health. “Whether you are poor, Black, a woman, a trans person, a disabled person, or a migrant, your identity will, to some extent, dictate how your distress is treated. It determines whether you are taken seriously, the type of care you have access to, whether you are treated violently or even killed when seeking mental healthcare.”

https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/originals/mental-health-resources-for-lgbtq-people/

Hardly hyperbole, given the complex history between the LGBTQIA+ community and psychiatry. Prior to changes in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), homosexuality and ‘transgenderism’ were viewed as mental illnesses – the latter by the World Health Organisation until as recently as 2019 – justifying discrimination, mistreatment, and cruel treatments such as chemical castration and lobotomies offered as ‘cures’. Even within the NHS, the controversial electroconvulsive therapy was a preferred form of treatment up until the 1970s.

While these barbaric practices have since been eradicated – though conversion therapy is yet to be banned in the UK – the modern healthcare landscape is just as difficult to traverse, especially for trans people. In 2021, a TransActual report revealed that 70% of respondents were impacted by transphobia in the healthcare space, with 14 percent were refused treatment altogether.

What is GSRD therapy?

In an effort to bridge the gap between the LGBTQIA+ community and the mental health care they deserve, psychotherapists Dr Meg-John Barker and Dominic Davies coined GSRD therapy. The all-encompassing term covers Gender – as it pertains to be people within and outside the binary, Sex – including sexuality, asexuality, as well as sexual behaviours such as BDSM, kink and fetish, and Relationship Diversities – inclusive of people on the aromantic spectrum, those who are polyamorous, sex workers etc.

“We used this as a more inclusive term to go beyond the alphabet soup and ensure that many other marginalised groups (like heterosexual kinksters, asexuals, people in poly relationships, and intersex folk) who might have been excluded from seeking help in mainstream or LGBTQIA+ organisations could find therapists able to support them,” Davies explains. “Our intention wasn’t that this would be a term for self-definition or to replace our hard won identities as lesbian, gay or queer people but more as an inclusive term for therapists to understand the wider range of marginalised people.” An amorphous term, GSRD has continued to evolve and expand its reach over the years as understanding in the biopsychosocial arena develops.

While this term broadly covers the experiences and needs of the LGBTQIA+ community, GSRD therapy can be equally beneficial for heterosexual and cisgender people too – both as clients and via training for therapists. As a pioneer of the term, Pink Therapy – a directory and vital resource for GSRD therapists and those seeking them founded by Davies in 1999 – is among a number of mental health organisations prioritising training of GSRD therapy. “We’ve helped get GSRD mental health on the agenda for many psychologists and psychotherapists. This has hopefully helped many of our community find skilled help and manage the stresses of being queer or trans,” Davies says.

For those choosing to specialise, its year-long international qualification covers the breadth of the term enabling those who complete it to provide much-needed affirming care for the community, while short, self-study options are also available for therapists who are seeking to top up their knowledge in the field. “We are all different and all have intersecting identities,” he continues. “My own experience as a white, queer, disabled, neurodivergent kinkster in an open relationship is going to be quite different to a married, monogamous gay man who is from a privileged background who retrained after working in banking. We ensure our courses include intersectionality and that explores racial and ethnic intersections among other identities.”

For queer psychotherapists like Chris Sheridan, it was apparent in their mental health education journey that working with marginalised groups was overlooked, prompting them to found The Queer Therapist – a UK-based online therapy service providing GSRD and neurodivergent-affirming therapy. “The treatment approach for working with these groups has a whole layer of complexity that wasn’t covered within the NHS, so not only were clients not forthcoming, but there was an absence of those clients,” they explain. “Our niche is working with the queer and neurodivergent communities which intersect massively. I will get clients who have identified as gay for years, but have questioned their gender and queer is a more fitting term. I’m definitely seeing a move towards a more expansive definition of what it means to be queer.”

What are the benefits of a queer-affirming therapist?

While the NHS is an invaluable resource in the healthcare space, it is sadly both underfunded and overstretched, leaving people who need urgent mental health treatment and support in desperate positions.

Despite national standards for talking therapy – guidelines set by National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence – outlining that 95 percent of referrals should start treatment within 18 weeks, research released last year by The Royal College of Psychiatrists tells a different story. With over 1 million people on waiting lists for specialist mental healthcare and extended wait periods, 43 per cent of adults reported a deterioration of their mental health, with 78 percent seeking help from emergency services or crisis lines.

“Different domains of oppression impact our experiences of mental health services and treatment.”

After enduring long wait times, those fortunate enough to receive treatment are often allocated a therapist with no regard to their cultural background, identity, or specific needs – an important facet of seeing the benefits of therapy, as outlined by HH Strupp in a 1980 paper in The Archives of General Psychiatry. Researching the successes and failures of time-limited psychotherapy, he highlighted the importance of client participation, finding that those who were more willing and able to connect with their therapists yielded better results than those who did not.

Unsurprisingly, the same is true for LGBTQIA+ clients who have therapists with the same lived experiences as them, a luxury reserved for those who can afford to pursue therapy privately. “It felt like a shortcut to being able to discuss some of the aspects of gay life where I’ve struggled,” shares David, on his experience of queer therapy, after initial disappointment with therapists outside of the community. “Knowing that you’re talking to someone who has an understanding of the things that are more common among LGBTQIA+ folks like open relationships and wanting sexual compatibility as a bottom seeking a top. Not having heteronormative milestones projected onto your age or life stage is huge too.”

https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/life/lgbtq-mental-health-from-anxiety-to-abuse-how-to-better-protect-yourself-and-seek-support/

Similarly, having shared experiences with trans and gender non-conforming clients can create a safe and comfortable environment for invaluable insight. “I previously saw another therapist that was not a match and made me feel way worse. I left the office crying because I didn’t feel understood or that they could empathise with where I was coming from,” shares Jaylan on their experience. “I had been struggling with dysmorphia and I wanted to have a therapist that felt like they could understand some of the things I had been through as a queer person. It was scary at first but became really organic and it was super grounding. They gave me so much breadth around how I wanted to pursue being a human being.”

As well as improving bedside manner, providing safe spaces, and better connecting LGBTQIA+ clients with those providing mental health care, GSRD training is essential for providing the correct course of action for those in therapy, helping therapists to avoid potential pitfalls. “When you’re working with asexuality, there is a high risk of not deliberately falling into conversion therapy,” explains Sheridan. “If you’re not aware, you may be inadvertently practising conversion therapy by not working out if your client is asexual and where they fall on the spectrum.”

On the flipside, providing affirming care can be just as fulfilling for LGBTQIA+ therapists as it is for their clients. “There’s never a day that goes by where I don’t have some incredibly meaningful experience with a person,” Sheridan shares on their experiences of 15 years in the mental health field. “I feel incredibly humbled, privileged, and honoured to do that alongside people who are on the journey to ultimately working out who they are and to feel a sense of empowerment in owning their identities and feeling more confident as they move through the world.”

How to find a queer therapist

So, if queer therapy sounds like something you’d be interested in, where do you start?

Described by founder Davies as “the first point of contact for somebody seeking a therapist,” Pink Therapy’s directory of GSRD-trained therapists relaunched last year to encompass more identities – including those who are questioning, practise consensual non-monogamy, and intersex individuals. In addition to the more well-known CBT, there’s a variety of options to help you find the form of therapy that suits you best, as well as therapy for couples and families.

However, if you’ve had no previous experience of therapy – queer or otherwise – Sheridan suggests exploring Voda, an LGBTQIA+ mental health app, first. A mostly free resource, the app covers everything from body dysmorphia and internalised stigma to self- confidence and insecurities in relationships, while also offering some paid guided therapy, mindfulness exercises, and introductory programmes around calming anxiety and affirming your identity. It can be used in tandem with psychotherapy, as a useful starting point to hone in on areas of concern.

For those from lower-income backgrounds, organisations like The Queer Therapist and Rain or Shine offer sliding scale rates so that your means aren’t an obstacle to receiving the mental health care you need. Elsewhere, charities such as LGBT Foundation and Black Trans Foundation provide free therapy for communities most at risk, though spots are limited and highly in-demand. If you aren’t eligible or cannot find free resources in your local area, Mind’s non-exhaustive compilation of LGBTQIA+ mental health organisations may aid your search.

Regardless of your situation, Sheridan’s advice on finding a queer therapist is to approach it like you would dating. “Don’t expect to find the right fit straightaway,” they suggest. “Try a number of therapists – it could be 20-30 minutes, or a free consultation – and see how it feels. If it’s important to you, maybe you want somebody who reflects your values. You should be thinking about whether or not you have a good rapport with them, do you feel held in this space.”

If you are unable to access the support you need and are in crisis or feeling suicidal, it’s imperative to discuss with a doctor as soon as possible. Samaritans is available 24/7, 365 days a year, likewise Shout – a newer text-only service – can be accessed by those who might be unable to discuss their situation in their living arrangement.

This interview is taken from the January 2024 issue of GAY TIMES. Head to Apple News + for more exclusive features and interviews from the issue. 

The post The transformational power of queer-affirmative therapy – from patients whose lives have been changed appeared first on GAY TIMES.

While December is supposed to be full of cheer, family microaggressions don’t exactly get us in the Christmas spirit. Luckily, we’ve called in an expert to impart some much-needed advice on how to cope.

WORDS BY JAMIE WINDUST 

By now, it’s a cliché that the festive period is ~challenging~ for a variety of reasons. But the stereotype isn’t just the central premise of pretty much every festive romcom ever, it also bears more than a grain of truth – especially for individuals under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella. 

Of course, there are problems which feel pretty universal: financial panic after haemorrhaging cash on presents which may or may not be well-received, nauseating small talk with distant relatives, and the post-office-party hangxiety that ramps your Sunday scaries up a notch or three.

However, for queer people there are plenty of additional stresses to face. Across our packed social calendars, we can encounter a steady stream of microaggressions –  from intrusive questions to misgendering –  that stack up into macro challenges by the beginning of the new year. 

Even for those of us who don’t celebrate Christmas, there can be a social expectation to spend time off between December and January visiting biological family. Yet, for some in the community, time with relatives can be particularly challenging. Other queer folk might not be in contact with their family at all. Through no fault of our own, the most ‘wonderful time of the year’ can actually be the hardest and most isolating. 

That’s why GAY TIMES has called upon Chris Sheridan – a BACP-accredited Psychotherapist and Clinical Sexologist and the founder and director of social enterprise The Queer Therapist –  to provide expert advice on how to sidestep uncomfortable questions this Christmas and find space to connect with your chosen family. Keep reading to find out more…

I’m not out to my relatives – how do I spend time with my family this Christmas?

All queer people understand that hiding your identity is painful – but sometimes when we’ve not shared our sexuality or gender identity with our biological family it can feel like we’re hiding a secret that they ‘deserve’ to know. “Set boundaries,” says Sheridan. “Decide beforehand what information you’re comfortable sharing and what you’d like to keep private.”

Sheridan also recommends speaking to more open-minded relatives who might be able to help deflect any unwanted attention from the wider group. “Identify family members who might be more understanding or open-minded,” they say. “Consider confiding in a supportive relative who can act as an ally or provide a buffer during family events.”

How do I dodge intrusive questions from family members?

There’s always one family member who will simply ask whatever question pops into their head, no matter how inappropriate. As queer people, we’re often the target of their cross-examinations – whether it’s directed at our gender, sexuality or relationship choices – but it doesn’t have to be this way. 

However, we don’t owe anyone any details we’re not comfortable with sharing. Rather than taking the risk of opening up without knowing how others will react, or just shrugging it off with a forced smile, Sheridan recommends acknowledging the question while keeping answers open-ended.

“In moments when faced with questions about your gender identity or sexuality, it’s perfectly okay to express, ‘Let me think about that more and get back to you,’ or ‘I’m not sure at this point,’” they explain. “It’s a recognition of the fluid nature of identity and an honest acknowledgement that one’s understanding can evolve over time.” 

Decide beforehand what information you’re comfortable sharing and what you’d like to keep private.

What do I do if I feel unsafe presenting as my true self in my home town?

Finding your own individual sense of self-expression as an LGBTQIA+ person can be the best part of discovering your identity. While it shouldn’t be this way, some individuals feel like presenting in the most authentic way for them can attract unwanted attention when returning home for the holidays – especially if travelling from a diverse city to a more conservative area. 

Concerns about how we present ourselves are, at their core, concerns about our safety as queer people. With that in mind, it’s worth taking stock and trying to exercise as much control over physical environments and travel arrangements as possible. “Consider what will contribute to your sense of safety,” Sheridan advises. “Key things to consider before your visit include the duration of your stay and your accommodation – who do you want to stay with during your visit?” 

Depending on your family and friends back home, you might be able to ask for a helping hand in making your trip as safe and secure as possible. Even a simple favour, such as having someone you know to pick you up from the station or airport, meaning you don’t have to travel to your final destination on your own, can be a huge support.

However, we may also want to ensure that we have a backup plan to help us disengage from the environment and return to somewhere that’s safer for us, if necessary. “Having an exit strategy, such as taking a break or having a reason to leave early, provides you with control over your environment,” Sheridan explains.

Ultimately, it’s worth also keeping in mind that your safety and comfort is tantamount. If going home for the holidays may jeopardise that, you are allowed to voice this and stay in an environment that carries less personal risk – which is where the next point comes in…

 

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I don’t want to go home to see my biological family for Christmas – how do I tell them?

Obviously, telling your family that you’re not going to be around the dinner table on the 25th may not be so well-received.  Setting boundaries with your biological family can feel difficult, but it’s the first step towards putting yourself first. 

Here are some pointers on how to have the Chat:

• Make notes of what you want to say. “Before communicating this with your family, consider what you want to say. Jotting down your thoughts with ‘I feel’ statements can be a helpful way to distil your emotions,” says Sheridan. 
• Use ‘I feel statements’ to help your family understand your decision. “Instead of saying something like, ‘You don’t accept me,’ try expressing, ‘I feel hurt and rejected because, when you do ‘X’, it feels like you don’t accept me. I’m not sure if this is your intention, but the impact makes me hesitant to return to our hometown.’” 

Finally, while you go through this process of boundary-setting, it can help to be in contact with your chosen family or understanding friends so you can talk through any fear or anxiety that may arise with a third party.

What’s the best way to remain connected to the queer community when you’re not physically with them?

Whether you’re spending Christmas on your own or breaking crackers with your cousin over Boxing Day lunch, spending time with other LGBTQIA+ people can be a way to combat loneliness and affirm your identity this December. But how do you do this when you’re not at home or when local queer bars empty out of familiar faces?

“Engaging with online queer spaces and social media groups is a great option,” says Sheridan. For those who have travelled to stay with family, it can be worth checking out any local GBTQIA+ events or gatherings. “This can provide a sense of community and can reshape your experiences of your home town,” explains Sheridan. 

 

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How do I look after my mental health during the festive period?

Self-care is important at all times of the year, but when the holidays kick off it’s important to prioritise mental wellbeing. “The festive season can be overwhelming, so ensure you take time for yourself,” says Sheridan. “Whether it’s reading sapphic literature, watching LGBTQIA+ movies, or downloading a queer mental health app such as VODA, self-care contributes to your well-being.”.

However, sometimes a bath and a long walk just don’t cut it. If you find yourself struggling with your mental health – whether it is feeling down for prolonged periods of time, or levels of anxiety which disrupt your everyday life – speak to your GP at the earliest convenience. Within your appointment you will be able to discuss treatment options such as medication, therapy and mindfulness techniques.

In the interim, there are a range of queer-specific mental well-being resources you can access while you wrangle your GP receptionist for an appointment. 

• Switchboard: An LGBTQIA+ helpline staffed by LGBTQIA+ volunteers, available to help with a range of issues facing callers. Available to call from 10am to 10pm via the free to call number 0800 0119 100, you can also email them or get in touch via instant message on their website. 
• CliniQ: A trans-led organisation which provides holistic care for trans, non-binary and gender-diverse people. As well as offering vital services such as HIV support and trans-inclusive PrEP provision, CliniQ offers a free counselling and mentorship service. 
• Pink Therapy: A directory of LGBTQIA+ friendly therapists and an organisation which pioneered the term Gender, Sex and Relationship Diversity (GSRD) Therapy. Through the online resource, you can find counsellors who are sexuality and gender-affirming, and there are also filters to help you find professionals with an awareness of kink or non-monogamy. Although all therapists listed are in private practice, many offer sliding scale rates for those lower-income clients.

If you suspect that you are struggling with your mental health, you should book an appointment with your GP to discuss potential treatment plans and support. Anyone looking for shorter-term mental health support or to explore available information can contact the Mind infoline on 0300 123 3393.

The post A therapist’s guide to navigating the festive season as a queer person appeared first on GAY TIMES.

Financial stress can stop you from getting in the holiday spirit. But there’s things you can do to get ahead of it, and to minimise a post-Christmas financial hangover. 

WORDS BY NICOLE GARCÍA MÉRIDA
HEADER DESIGN BY YOSEF PHELAN

There’s many things to love about the holiday season. Fairy lights’ main character energy, how glitter becomes an acceptable addition to anything and everything, the general sense of cheer that seems to take over the air, work parties with open bars. But there’s also a lot of pressure around making it the most wonderful time of the year, which could feel that much harder this time round as the cozzie livs crisis rages on.

In true British fashion we’ve all adopted this silly little abbreviation, but the fact we’ve been forced to is actually very grim. Dealing with higher prices is hard enough – throw the holidays into the mix, and no one would blame you for having a menty b.

In all seriousness, many of us have been stressing about money a lot more than usual lately. Between present buying and everyone you know trying to squeeze in one final group dinner before the end of the year, it makes total sense for that stress to heighten around the holidays.

If you feel like you’re drowning a bit, there are things you can do to cope with money worries, as well as help minimise a post-holiday financial hangover.

Budget, budget, budget

Make a list of the people you want to buy presents for, the activities you definitely don’t want to miss, how much the train home will be, and have a look at your bank balance. What amount of this, realistically, can you dedicate to consumerist festive cheer? Try your hardest to stick to it, and if your bank app has this function maybe even put it in a separate pot to your current account so that you can better keep track of it.

Learn to say no

It’s hard deciding what nights out or dinners to miss out on when it seems like everyone is trying to get together. But your January self, who will be stretching out a paycheck for a week longer than usual, will seriously thank you. If you spend less on a couple of the occasions you’ve budgeted for, you may be able to squeeze another one in. It may feel like you’re missing out, but remember we’re doing this with the aim of preventing a financial hangover on top of the actual hangover you’re probably going to have for the whole of January. This is what gym bros meant by short term pain, long term gain.

Cut back on presents

According to Money Advice Trust, 14.4 million people are planning to cut back on the number of presents they buy. It’s important to stress that cutting back on presents is fine. We’ve been conditioned to believe the festive season is about gift giving, but as many holiday Hallmark movies will tell you, it’s actually about spending quality time with the people you love.

“People quite often are keen to impress friends and relatives with nice gifts, but I think that if the recipients knew that you were getting anxious or getting yourself into financial trouble buying them gifts, they would almost certainly want you to be less lavish,” says Matt Campbell, independent financial advisor at LGBTQ IFA.

Don’t head straight to the shops

Once you’ve made a condensed list of the people you want to spend your hard earned coin on, think outside the gift-giving box. Hit up charity shops and markets, or apps like Vinted and Depop – even Facebook Marketplace. Handmade gifts are also an option if you’re crafty and these can be far more meaningful and special than anything you could get off a shelf. Also, shop for last minute deals. If you’re not seeing someone you want to get a present for until after Christmas, you can probably get something discounted in the sales.

Avoid getting into debt

Data from the Money Advice Trust shows 24.3 million adults are planning to use credit to pay for Christmas, with 4.7 million people planning to use buy now, pay later products such as Klarna.

Try to avoid this if possible. “Be clear on what you can afford to spend and don’t spend money you don’t have,” says Matt. “Buy now, pay later still involves… needing to pay later. Don’t get yourself into debt to buy gifts that people don’t need.”

Don’t be afraid to speak up

Talking about money can be stressful, but I promise you it is so freeing. However nerve-racking it may feel letting someone know that your budget is a bit stretched this year, or just that you’re worried about money, those who care about you will understand. But it will also help you remove the expectations you have from yourself, alleviating any self-imposed pressure.

If you’re worried about debt, or concerned about paying your bills, there’s free services you can access, including National Debtline, Citizens Advice, and StepChange.

The post Ways to deal with – and prevent – money anxiety around the holidays appeared first on GAY TIMES.

Mental health issues can sometimes feel impossible to overcome, so it’s important to know where you can find support as an LGBTQIA+ person.

WORDS BY CONOR CLARK

Mental health issues can affect anyone, though studies have found that they are more common among LGBTQIA+ people than in their cishet peers. In fact, research conducted by Stonewall found that half of LGBTQIA+ people have experienced depression, while three in five have suffered from anxiety. No matter the problem, it’s important to remember that help is always available. Here, GAY TIMES, rounds up 11 places you can find free support tailored for the LGBTQIA+ community. 

Content warning: This article includes topics that could make some readers feel uncomfortable and/or upset.

Childline

Childline offers an array of resources for anyone under the age of 19 in the UK, including LGBTQIA+ youth. These include a confidential helpline that is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, as well as a 1-2-1 counselling service and email support. More information is available on its website.

 

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Galop

Galop’s team has decades of experience working with LGBTQIA+ people who have been victims of domestic abuse, sexual violence, hate crime, so-called ‘conversion therapy’, honour-bsaed abuse, forced marriage and various other forms of abuse. The charity’s website has more information about the resources available, including helplines and an online Domestic Abuse Survivors Forum.

 

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Mind

Through providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing mental health problems, Mind is working to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding in society. It offers support tailored to LGBTQIA+ people, including information on legal rights, advice on where to get advice and specialist mental health services that you can learn more about here.

 

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MindOut

Run by and for LGBTQIA+ people, MindOut is a mental health service working to improve the wellbeing of those in the community and beyond. Its services are mostly for people aged 18 and over who are based in Brighton and Hove, though its online support service is available globally. Details about MindOut can be found here.

 

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Mindline Trans+

Mindline Trans+ is a confidential emotional, mental health support helpline and signposting service for people who are part of the trans+ community, as well their friends and family. It provides a safe space to talk about your feelings confidentially and volunteers do not record calls or ask for any personal details. It is currently only available on Friday evenings due to volunteer availability. More details can are listed online here.

 

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Papyrus

As a national UK charity dedicated to suicide prevention, Papyrus has an array of resources available for young people. These include its helpline, HOPELINEUK, which will give you a safe space to talk through anything happening in your life that could be impacting your ability to stay safe. It’s available 24/7 all year long and is for children and young people aged 35 and under, as well as those concerned about a young person who could be thinking about suicide. 

 

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Rainbow Migration

Rainbow Migration, a charity that helps LGBTQIA+ people through the asylum and immigration system, provides emotional support to those who are in the UK and thinking of or currently going through the process. Click here to find out more.

 

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Samaritans 

Whatever you’re going through, someone from the Samaritans team will help you get through it. Its free helpline is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and gives you a safe space to discuss whatever’s on your mind, in your own way. You can learn more about it here.

 

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Student Minds

It can be difficult to be LGBTQIA+ at university, something which Student Minds recognises. From gender transitioning to coming out, it has created a guide for LGBTQIA+ students and friends who may need tips, advice or additional support as a result of their identity. This can be found here. 

 

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Switchboard

For decades, Switchboard has been supporting LGBTQIA+ people with its national helpline which is currently open from 10am-10pm every day. It provides a non-judgemental, confidential service that is run by volunteers who all identify as LGBTQIA+. In addition to its helpline, Switchboard also runs an online chat and has a number of resources available for those in need. More information is available on its website. 

 

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Terrence Higgins Trust

Depression is twice as common among people living with HIV, which can impact someone’s levels of anxiety, self-confidence and overall self-worth. Terrence Higgins Trust, the UK’s leading sexual health charity, has a page dedicated to mental health with advice on how to deal with whatever issues you may be facing as someone living with HIV – this can be found here.

 

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Pop icon Kylie Minogue has opened up about fame taking a toll on her mental health in a new interview.

Since splashing onto the scene in 1987, the Aussie pop goddess has cultivated an incredible music career – spanning seven number-one singles, eight number-one albums, and 34 top-ten singles in the UK.

In addition to her record-breaking feats, Minogue has earned a dedicated LGBTQIA+ fanbase for her inclusive pop anthems and never-ending allyship.

While the beloved talent has cultivated a long and successful career in the industry, it has sometimes been a challenging ride.

In a recent interview with Rolling Stone UK, the ‘Padam Padam’ singer discussed the negative effects fame has had on her life – specifically regarding her mental health.

“What I think is great for a lot of people now is that there’s a discussion about mental health and the toll [fame] can take on people. I had that. I lived that,” she explained.

“I was able to manage that myself and with my family and close friends and navigate those waters. It wasn’t a decision [to stay private]. It was a reaction to protect myself and to protect my family because they would go through it with you.”

Minogue added that it takes “some work… and some sacrifice” to protect her privacy and mental health.

“I can really go from doing a full kind of blitz of doing it all and then stop and recalibrate,” she added.

Towards the end of her interview, the Aphrodite singer opened up about claiming her space as a music legend, following her acclaimed 2019 Glastonbury performance.

 

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“[It] is a huge deal for me to say: ‘I deserve to be here.’ Every artist that’s ever existed was also riddled with insecurity and self-doubt and all that stuff. But I feel like now it’s okay. I chased it,” she told the publication.

“I longed for it for a long time. I thought it just might not ever happen for me. But I think there’s enough of it now. I don’t know that everyone knows the extent of what it’s taken for me to keep doing this.

“The respect is there. It’s taken its good old time. I feel a lot more peaceful than I did a while ago. It doesn’t change my drive and determination.”

Minogue’s thoughtful interview comes a few weeks before the release of her 16th studio album, Tension.

According to a press release, the record will contain 11 “unabashed pleasure-seeking, seize-the-moment, joyful pop tunes”.

“Unlike my last two albums there wasn’t a ‘theme’, it was about finding the heart or the fun or the fantasy of that moment and always trying to service the song,” the beloved singer explained in a statement.

“I wanted to celebrate each song’s individuality and to dive into that freedom. I would say it’s a blend of personal reflection, club abandon and melancholic high.”

Check out Minogue’s music video for the album’s titular track below.

The post Kylie Minogue reflects on the pressures of fame and protecting her mental health appeared first on GAY TIMES.

Approximately 55.1 per cent of all LGBTQ+ youth screen positive for depression, according to a new survey conducted by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC).

The 2023 LGBTQ+ Report compiled the findings of the HRC’s 2022 Youth Survey.

The results revealed “persistent, serious challenges for LGBTQ+ youth” across the USA, continuing the trends observed by its 2017 study.

The statistic was even higher for trans and gender-expansive youth, with 60 per cent screening positive for depression.

The report also investigated the safety and comfort of LGBTQ+ youth in home and school environments.

Almost half of those surveyed felt unsafe in at least one school setting, with the figure being even higher for trans students.

Additionally, 57.4 per cent reported at least one experience of parental rejection.

READ MORE: Michigan bans use of ‘conversion therapy’ on LGBTQ+ youth

On the other hand, the findings suggested a more hopeful conclusion.

Approximately 56.8 per cent of the responders somewhat or strongly agreed that the LGBTQ+ community is accepted more every day by society and 47 per cent felt proud to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community.

The state of LGBTQ+ rights in America is visibly impacting LGBTQ+ youth

The legislative attacks against the LGBTQ+ community have been rampant in 2023. For the first time in their history, the HRC issued a national state of emergency for LGBTQ+ Americans.

In May, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed what has been called the “largest slate” of anti-LGBTQ+ bills in the state’s history.

The anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric pervading the USA, especially this year, is taking a visible toll on the country’s LGBTQ+ youth.

“In many cases, the cards remain stacked against LGBTQ+ youth in terms of acceptance and support from their families, their mental health and safety in schools,” the report said.

“Transgender and gender-expansive youth also face unique challenges, with harmful anti-trans laws, and a lack of inclusive school policies and procedures, creating obstacles to their safety and well-being.”

READ MORE: Heartstopper and The Colour Purple among nearly 400 books facing school ban in Iowa

However, the report suggested that there may be hope for American LGBTQ+ youth in the future.

“Across the country, LGBTQ+ youth are advocating for inclusivity in their homes, schools and communities,” the report explained.

“Parents, caregivers, school administrators, educators, counselors and other youth-serving professionals can support LGBTQ+ youth by following their lead and implementing the actionable guidelines at the end of this report, in order to create safe, affirming, and welcoming spaces.”

The post Majority of LGBTQ+ youth screen positive for depression, survey finds appeared first on GAY TIMES.

GAY TIMES speaks with LGBTQ+ psychiatrist Dr David McLaughlan to ask some of the most common questions LGBTQ+ people have surrounding their mental health.

Words by Jamie Windust

Open dialogue around mental health is becoming more consistent every single day. Whether it be in the workplace or at home, as a society we are learning to talk more about what’s going on in our minds. 

But what if you’re LGBTQ+? Often we face specific challenges that our non-queer counterparts don’t face. Anxieties around coming out or transitioning can make life hard in ways that we can’t always openly share.

To help out, GAY TIMES sat down with LGBTQ+ psychiatrist Dr David McLaughlan to ask some of the most common questions LGBTQ+ people have surrounding their mental health. See this as a resource to save and keep handy whenever you feel like there isn’t a space to have your questions answered.

Is there anything LGBTQ+ people should avoid doing if they’re struggling with their mental health?

Be wary of ‘quick fixes’ or self medicating with drugs and alcohol. It almost always makes things worse. I’d also avoid bottling things up. If something doesn’t seem right, don’t just leave it and hope it gets better by itself. Sometimes it can feel frightening asking for help, but almost no one regrets it once they’ve done it. It’s a bit like coming out – liberating and a relief. 

Who should LGBTQ+ people try and speak to if they’re worried about their mental health?

You should speak to anyone you feel comfortable with. The most important thing is just speaking to someone. It could be your best friend, your sibling, a neighbour or even a stranger. Sometimes just hearing yourself acknowledge your own mental health out loud can be the first step. I’ve had patients who told me that they began by journaling first. This helped them reflect upon their thoughts and feelings by themselves before they felt confident enough to talk about it out loud with another person. 

What do you see most in LGBTQ+ people who come and speak to you about their mental health?

Lots of my LGBTQ+ patients have experienced trauma or adverse life events. Sometimes there is a significant event which triggered an initial deterioration in their mental health, such as an assault. However, there often is an insidious accumulation of trauma or adverse life effects which accumulate over time.

These are things like bullying, discrimination or micro-aggressions. It can happen anywhere; at home with family, in the workplace or out in public when using public transport for example. On a cellular level, trauma or an adverse life event exposes our neurons (the cells in the brain responsible for receiving sensory input from the external world) to the stress hormone cortisol, which is cytotoxic. This means that stress literally kills brain cells… In studies, scans have shown that people exposed to trauma or repeated adverse life events have structural differences in their brains. 

In terms of diagnosis, I see a lot of anxiety disorders within the LGBTQ+ community. Anxiety disorders are a diverse range of conditions which include Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Panic Attacks as well as Generalised Anxiety Disorders and specific phobias. For example, Agoraphobia. 

I also see lots of substance misuse. There are specific trends and patterns of substance misuse within LGBTQ+ subcultures. For example, the use of Crystal Meth within cis-gay men engaging in chemsex compared to an older cis-gay woman may be more vulnerable to alcohol abuse, often characterised by drinking alone at home. 

One of the things I always try to communicate and recognise is that we are a really diverse community, with diverse biological, social and psychological experiences and accordingly, our needs are really diverse which makes it tricky sometimes to understand and support everyone. However, the key is to continuously listen and actively seek opportunities to learn.

What are your top tips for handling anxiety around coming out?

It’s okay to feel anxious about coming out. It can be a really big deal for some people and it’s not always easy. Each of us has a different set of circumstances that we have to navigate when we come out. Our families, friends, homelife, cultural background, careers and environment all play a big part in the experience of coming out. 

However, sometimes when we are really anxious we imagine that things will be much worse than they really will. These negative predictions about the future can be affected by a cognitive distortion called ‘catastrophisation’. In this situation, our mind goes into ‘what if’ mode, automatically imagining the worst possible thing that could happen.

It might be worth gently challenging some of these predictions. Ask yourself, ‘Is it possible that I could be catastrophising?’, ‘Are there other possible outcomes which aren’t as bad?’.

The most important thing is doing it when you feel safe and ready.

What should LGBTQ+ people do if they’re struggling with alcohol or drug dependency?

LGBTQ+ people are disproportionately affected by drug and alcohol misuse as well as mental health difficulties. Despite this, they’re less likely to ask for help, with 14% reporting a fear of discrimination as the barrier to seeking mainstream support. 

According to Stonewall’s LGBT Health In Britain Report (2018) and the UK Household Longitudinal Study (Becares. L 2020)

• 1 in 6 LGBTQ+ people said they drank alcohol almost every day over the last year
• 1 in 5 Gay, Bisexual or Trans men drank alcohol almost everyday over the last year compared to 13% of LGBT women and 11% of non-binary people
• 52% of LGBT people experienced depression in the last year
• LGBT older women are almost twice as likely as heterosexual women to have harmful drinking habits. 

This was, in part, why I co-founded Jitai – an app which helps people reduce or cut down drinking. I felt passionately that everyone who wants to reduce or quit drinking, should be able to access support, regardless of their sexuality, gender or financial status.

The app will offer a range of personalised tools and techniques such as mindfulness, breathing exercises and its own unique motivation board to help beat temptation. In our first pilot study, 90% of our users told us that we had helped them achieve their goal of cutting down or quitting drinking. 

We’ve had some really incredible feedback from users which was amazing and made me realise that we are really helping people. 

What’s the best way to deal with social anxiety as an LGBTQ+ person?

A lot of LGBTQ+ people experience social anxiety. We grew up in a world where being ourselves was potentially something dangerous or put us at risk of bullying or social exclusion. 

One of the exercises that I do with my patients at The Prior Hospital in Roehampton is an attention training exercise. I ask my patients to practise shifting the focus of attention away from themselves and onto the world around them. 

Stage 1 is to recognise when you are experiencing self-conscious thoughts, feelings or bodily sensations. For example, thoughts such as ‘everyone is staring at me, I sound so stupid’.

Stage 2 is about shifting the focus of your attending away from our internal world and fixing it onto the world around us. Start by taking a few deep breaths, then looking around you. What can you see? Do you notice anything interesting about the shapes, colours or textures? How would you describe an object you’re looking at to someone who had never seen it before? Can you take a curious, non-judgemental approach and work through each of your five senses to draw the focus of your attention away from yourself and onto the world around you?

Your mind is like a muscle. This exercise can be tricky at first, but gets easier with practice.

Extra support and services for anyone struggling with mental health can be found below. 

Samaritans – 24/7 Telephone line – 116 123

Mind Out – Mental Health Service run by and for LGBTQ+ people

GALOP – LGBTQ+ Survivors of hate crime and sexual violence

CliniQ – Wellbeing and sexual health services for trans, non-binary and gender diverse people

Victim Support – Supporting victims of crime and traumatic incidents

The post LGBTQ+ mental health: From anxiety to abuse, how to better protect yourself and seek support appeared first on GAY TIMES.